Special thanks to Garrett Morris and Saturday Night Live for the title of this blog. Back in 1978, Garrett debuted his fictional character "Chico Escuela" who was a New York Mets player from the Dominican Republic. An interesting fact from the first night they used this character is that the musical guest for that show was the Grateful Dead! Who knew that? I did not. Anyhow, Chico's catchphrase was "baseball been berry berry good to me." Sammy Sosa from the Cubs used to use that line in interviews when he was still cute and lovable. Now he is a cheating scoundrel, who lied to me and the rest of the world about his steroid use. Him and that stinking Mark McGwire spending a whole Summer kissing and hugging each other and hitting mammoth home runs in between putting needles in their buttocks. I am so glad none of my beloved New York Yankees ever got involved with that stuff.
Baseball's Opening Day is Monday April 6th. Opening Day should be a National Holiday. It is always a great day. ESPN has baseball games on all day long. For that one day, every team has the look of a championship contender. Then, a short seven months later, a World Series champion is crowned! Come on, let's play ball!
I am a lifelong New York Yankees fan. A big part of the fun of being a Yankees fan is the rivalry that exists with the Boston Red Sox. Neither team did very well last season. In fact, I think the Red Sox finished in last place in the AL East. With the new season starting, I figured I should give you a poorly researched preview of the Yankees and Red Sox squads. We will start with the Yankees because I don't despise all of them like I do the entire Red Sox roster.
So all you need to know about this year's Yankees is they no longer have Derek Jeter, but they do have Alex Rodriguez. Like the rest of the country, I am not an Alex fan, but I would like to see him hit 30 homers and drive in 100 runs. I would settle for 15 and 50 if I have to. One of the fun parts of my Mom's later years, is that she became an Alex fan. She found him to be the most compelling and entertaining baseball player in the league. I never could find out why? I guess that was part of the fun. My Mom and Dad were both from the Bronx, NY and that is where I got my love of the Yankees. They used to take us to Yankee Stadium while I was a youth growing up on the mean streets of Long Island, NY. My Uncle Armand was the greatest Yankee fan and helped me stay a Yankees fan even after my family and I moved to New Hampshire. Okay, so there is a short Gary as a Yankees fan history.
Let's take a look at some of this year's Yankees roster:
First baseman - Mark Teixeira - has a bad wrist. something about a torn sheath? what the heck does that mean? was once a good player
Second baseman - Stephen Drew - former Red Sox dink. will be lucky if his batting average reaches Karen Carpenter's death weight
Shortstop - Didi Gregorius - gets to take over Derek Jeter's position. good luck. only positive is his name reminds me of Eva Longoria and that makes me smile
Third Baseman - Chase Headley - seems okay
Catcher - Brian McCann - I like him. He is good. He can catch and hit.
Left Fielder - Brett Gardner - love him. plays hard. could play in any era and be mediocre.
Center Fielder - Jacoby Ellsbury - former Red Sox dink. can be great when not injured. with all of his money he should try and buy a dab of personality.
Right Fielder - Carlos Beltran - thought he retired two years ago. they should have let him go and kept Ichiro. At least Ichiro was freaking cool.
Designated Hitter - Alex Rodriguez - the circus is back in town! Is he eligible for Comeback Player of the Year?
** I am not discussing the Yankees or Red Sox pitching staffs. Both teams have lots of questions in their starting rotations and both should have good bullpens. My guess is the Sox starters will be better than Yankees and Yankees bullpen will be better than the Red Sox.
And now for the Red Sox bastards:
First Baseman - Mike Napoli - liked him when he was on the Texas Rangers.
Second Baseman - Dustin Pedroia - had a nice career for a little guy. every year he looks more and more like an extra from the set of "Deliverance."
Shortstop - Xander Bogaerts - is this the year he becomes the greatest hitter to ever play the game?
Don't Bogaerts That Hype My Friend...
Third Baseman - Pedro Sandoval - don't hate him. great nickname "Kung Fu Panda." respect him for same reason I respected David Wells, they both are fat successful athletes.
Left Fielder - Hanley Ramirez - pretty sure I saw him play in Manchester, NH as a minor leaguer.
Center Fielder - Mookie Betts - loved Mookie Wilson. think this guy could be great. hope he is not
Right Fielder - Shane Victorino - the greatest Hawaiian right fielder in baseball history. ask him he will tell you.
Catcher - Don't Know - should have been Christian Vasquez, but his arm is wrecked forever
Designated Hitter - David Ortiz - will lead league in nonsensical rants and inappropriate language for the 12th straight season. What's not to love about that? "This is my freaking blog!"
** My prediction for the two teams is this:
The Yankees won't be as bad as they look on paper. They will win some games and lose some games.
The Red Sox will win the World Series. Who can't figure that out? They finish in last place one season, then win the World Series the next season. Last year they finished last so it is easy to predict that the World Series trophy is coming back to Boston. Cleanup the duck boats!
** Something new to share with your friends - on the final day of the regular season, all of the games will start at the same time! This could make for one tense and exciting day of baseball as teams battle for playoff berths!
** Baseball joke for the season:
Why did Confucius think baseball was such a funny game?
Because man with four balls no can walk
Enjoy America's Pastime!!
