Rhythm of the Night (Part One - Brush With Death #2 of 2015)

          My story begins on Saturday August 15, 2015. When I woke up, I had planned a day of watching the local Roller Derby team with some friends. In the morning I received a text from a friend requesting a ride to his bank. When I picked him up it turns out he was not feeling well. We ended up going to the Emergency Room. It turned into quite a lengthy visit, but my friend received the care he needed and is doing well now. I missed the Roller Derby, but the hospital trip seemed a little more important. Some people think my priorities are all screwed up, but I got this situation correct.
     The next day I assumed I had picked up countless germs and diseases by spending the previous day in the hospital. I developed a cough and sore throat and then an earache took over. On Wednesday August 19th, I called my doctor for an appointment. They did not have any appointments available that day so they referred me to one of those Convenient Urgent Care places. They did the usual blood pressure and listening to my heart. The doctor asked if I had heart problems which I did not. He said it didn't sound "right." They hooked me up to an EKG machine. The doctor said that also was not normal. He faxed the results of that test to a local hospital. The hospital instructed the doctor to send me directly to them. I was in a state of disbelief as outside of my aching ear, I felt the same as I always did. After a few of my statements that I was fine, the doctor said he would get an ambulance to take me to the hospital if I wasn't going to drive myself there. It was then I realized that he wasn't kidding and I really needed to go to a hospital to have my heart looked at. I may not have driven straight to the hospital because I felt fine, but I did go that day.

     I have been very lucky in my life and have had little to no experience in hospitals. No stitches, broken bones, diseases, or serious illnesses. (knocking on wood currently).  The hospital staff did a bunch of tests and determined I had an irregular heartbeat, specifically called Atrial Fibrillation (AFIB). I found it weird that I had something called "AFIB" as I have spent most of my life lying and making up stuff. Still I expected this to be a quick visit as I felt fine. I was not happy when I was told I would have to stay overnight. I slept in my jeans just in case they changed their mind and decided to send me home. They did not.
     Made it through my first overnight stay in a hospital. It wasn't much fun. The next day was full of tests and I was rewarded at the end of the day with having my heart shocked back into its correct rhythm. I lost the rest of my sparse chest hair during this procedure, which was okay because it made it easier to see the rectangular imprint on my chest where the electroshock paddle thing was. I never had been "put under" as they say, but I sure liked it! I was quite high afterwards. I may have tormented the nurse who took care of me after this procedure. There might have been some inappropriate questions and comments, but I was under a lot of stress. She got me back by setting the alarm on my bed so it would go off when I left the bed. That scared the heck out of me when I got up to close my window blind. It was a very funny prank to pull on a guy that just had a heart procedure. After I survived that, I realized I was going to be okay.

Tidbits I learned from my first hospital stay:

- the hospital treats water like gold when they don't know what it wrong with you. It took two hours of begging to get half a Dixie cup of water in that place.

- it is not nice to yell out "Man, I couldn't take another bite of this blueberry muffin!" when your hospital roommate is on a "liquid only" diet.

- Sometimes weird things happen. One of my overnight nurses had a first name of "Almedina."
My brother and I have a good friend named "Al Medina."  how cool is that? (see photo)

- now that my heart is back in it's proper rhythm, I have noticed I am a much better dancer and I am not behind a beat when I clap my hands at concerts!  All of these years I suffered! Who knew??
(I have to apologize to my friend Crystal, who tried to make me look good dancing and I always let her down. Little did we know it was because my heart was out of rhythm)

     I was discharged from the hospital on Friday August 21st. I was free to live my life in perfect rhythm.

     The next part of my story is coming soon.